The birth of a baby is an exciting time for new Mums, but it’s also a time full of learning curves, exhaustion, and many emotions. Whether you’re a partner, a friend, or a family member, you’re sure to want to help Mum make the most of this precious time – so we have some great ideas to help new mothers and take some of the stress away from their day.
One of the last things new parents want to do is cook at the end of the day. After all, they’ve had sleepless nights, and their energy was thrown into looking after the baby and, if they have time, showering or taking a nap. As a result, Mums often rely on quick snack foods or takeaways since they don’t have to think about it.
Come over and cook Mum a homely meal at her house if you can. Alternatively, you could make a tray of pasta bake, a curry, or anything else that can be reheated and served in batches and take the lot over for her to pick at as and when she has the chance. She’s sure to love your effort to do something so simple for her. Just remember to pre-arrange the drop-off and don’t ring the doorbell or knock too loudly – she may have just gotten the baby to sleep, and your kind gesture may turn sour if they wake up.
Sometimes, when you’re busy with a new baby, you’re not remembering (or have the energy) to do everyday errands like getting petrol, cutting the grass, and folding the laundry. Offer to pick up any chores around the house or elsewhere in Mum’s life to help her environment feel as organised as possible during a stressful time.
When popping over to help or see the baby, keep your visit as short as needed. Many Mums find socialising after having their baby difficult – they’re tired and have brain fog – talking and being social can be draining. Don’t take it personally if Mum asks you to leave – she often needs rest when the baby is asleep. This is a temporary part of being a Mum; soon, she’ll want you to stay much longer!
Everyone has some advice to give when it comes to parenting, but it’s not always kind to give that advice or share different techniques. Mum has probably been searching the internet and asking her family or midwife for advice where she needs it, and too much advice thrown her way can be confusing and lead to a lack of confidence, making her feel like a ‘bad’ mother for not doing things the ‘right’ way. Unless she specifically asks for advice, keep quiet. This includes commenting on or criticising her parenting, like, seriously, shush. It’s not as helpful as you think it is.
Mum probably isn’t having long soaks in the bath, getting her hair cut, or having her nails fixed at this point, which could make her feel a little icky and not like herself. Ask her if she needs or wants time for these appointments and offer to make them for her or babysit so she can take a break from baby. If she’s not ready to leave her baby, suggest going with her so you can entertain the baby in the salon near her whilst she’s being pampered. You might not even have to go that far – you may just have to run the bath for her!
Sometimes, all anyone needs to hear is how well they’re doing. Mums will often be around people telling her how good or adorable her baby is, which she’ll love hearing, but try and give Mum some of your attention. She’ll feel appreciated, and it can bolster her confidence to listen to compliments – reassurance is vital in those early days and months when Mum is still trying to figure things out.
Finally, the most surefire way to help a Mum is to ask her what she needs or what you can do to help. Taking a traybake round is all well and good, but if she already has three of them in her fridge from others, it won’t help as much as you think.
Listen to what she needs and try not to pressure her to think of something if she can’t. Sometimes, to be left alone is what she needs most. Plus, if she knows you’re willing to ask and do, she’ll be more inclined to come to you when she does need something.
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